How to act like a total cunt and win hearts.
November 18th, 2008Despite the fact I don’t have any kind of exams or tests for the end of my semester Uni work I did get swept up in the ‘crunch’ of the last few weeks and found very little time to do anything at all. That includes writing, reading, playing video games, updating my blog and drinking heavily.
Hahahaha.
I kid, there is always time to drink heavily.
Nonetheless the usual activities that occupy my time which were squeezed into a back seat position during uni found themselves completely out in the cold during the last few weeks. Then, like a total fuckwit, I thought it a bright idea to start a full time roster the week after I finished my classes. So the time constraints tightened further.
So I’ve been absent based on those grounds. And I’ve really got nothing to write about now, except that my personal life is taking some interesting turns. I generally have a rule of not mentioning anything to do with my angsty personal going-ons in these entries because it makes for poor reading and creates drama. Suffice to say though I’m gonna break that rule for the hell of it.
So the last few months have been interesting. A string of bad, near identical relationships; I meet a girl, wary of getting attatched because I’ve been hurt before. I overcome my fear and paranoia and take the plunge, happily not being rejected wholesale and entering satisfying relationships of varying length. Then at some undefined point when I’ve stopped waiting for something bad to happen and for the other shoe to drop, just enjoying being happy, the latest girl of my dreams turns around and tells me she’s had a change of heart. These things happen, apparently. My resulting bummed-out state isn’t usually helped by the fact that whilst I’m still squatting in a mire of general unhappiness the lovely lass has shot off and found herself a new special friend in the time it’s taken me to process the fact I’ve lost everything, again. Not good times.
So yeah, been around that particular merry go round three times now since I decided it was time to stop hiding in an unhappy little corner and get involved with people. And that’s not even mentioning the ongoing drama of a girl I met, liked, was rejected by and friend-zoned, but then slept with and continued to undergo drama with up until the present day. Turns out the girl is insane - she reckons she has a split-personality disorder or something, which explains her ‘mixed signals’ and all the ongoing bullshit to do with her. Basically it’s just a whole saga of completely pointless good times.
But it’s led to a wonderful learning experience for myself! See, having decided to sort out my feelings about the girl by discussing it with her at length and getting everything out in the open (resultantly learning about the whole ‘I only slept with you because I’m a madwoman.’ thing,) I also discussed my other relationship difficulties in general, resulting in useful advice like ‘go out and find a fuck!’. Because it’s that easy, and that’s what I really want from life.
However we did then discuss the ‘why’ of ‘Ian’s relationships turning to poo’, which has given me new insight into how I should go about making friends and winning hearts. See I’m generally a nice person. Sensitive, too. I also tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and connect with people quite quickly if there is going to be any kind of connection at all - it doesn’t take me long to decided how I feel about someone.
This, apparently, makes me a scary prospect. Clingy. TOO sensitive. And deciding you like someone quickly is bad - they don’t want to feel loved.
The cure for my ails? I need to be a total dick. Being nice is bad, so I need to treat everyone with contempt and never let anyone know that I appreciate their company or existence. Being likeable doesn’t win you any friends, no so.
Capture hearts by being a cunt.
So next time I go out, I’ll establish my dominance by punching the most attractive woman I can find right in the face, accept my applause and acclaim, then marry her and live happily ever after between her weekly electrocutions and unnecessary sessions of experimental surgery.
Fuck you all.
FG.
